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Before and After - Valerie's Pictures

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Several people have requested more Valerie. Good. Here is more. (There are a lot of mistakes, try not to look to closely.)

She seems to have the same draw as Travis but, despite being more difficult to draw, is easier to capture. So, request much more easily granted. 

I am going to start throwing more Valerie-related stuff in here. They may not always be pictures of her, but they will be narrated by her. The Valerie's Pictures series. It will be a chance to get to know one of mine more than others ... possibly even more than Reg. I feel safer using Valerie. She has her fans, but they are less likely to tell me I should change my character to suit their needs. I guess, in some ways, one has to be more accepting of people "as they are" to get behind Valerie in the first place. 

I'll let Valerie herself take it from here:

"My therapist gave me a bullshit assignment. I'm terrified of cameras. (Can you blame me?) The concept here is for me to see pictures as more than a source of terror. I am to record my life. Fine. Great.

So let's start with some of the hard stuff. I don't run from obstacles, even if they are 'bullshit'. Ready?

The lady on the left is Valerie Valjean three-and-some-change years ago. See, here is where the 'therapy' part comes in. I am aware that I referred to an old picture of myself in the third person. (I'm going to learn and grow despite myself, I think. Ha.) That's the face of a woman with a semi-successful DIC military career, a husband named Vindah, a little boy named Rumi, a mother, a father, and all of her hair. (Also cute earrings! Damn.) This was before the tests, before the sacrifices, and before the spells. This is the first and last time you will see a picture of my past. I need to move forward from here. I can *never* have any of that back, and mooning over it isn't helpful. So that's it. Take it in. There will also be no pictures of Vindah or Rumi. First, because I don't have any. Second, because I couldn't handle it. They are gone and there is NOTHING I can do about it. That Valerie is gone as well. When that spell was cast, she died with her family and at least 300 others.

It's hard to see that in writing. The estimated number of lives sacrificed in the making of the Valerie on the right is over 300. Souls can be traded for power. It's basic magic 101. It's also basic magic 101, that such an exchange on such a huge scale should simply never be done. And yet it was. The DIC Ministry got their super weapon. I can withstand all they could imagine and more. No one is physically tougher than me. Bra-f*ckin'-vo! Not worth it. They wanted it so badly they didn't sacrifice just anyone. It needed the extra gravity of my family behind it. Rumi was five! Five! I'll just put that there.

So the one on the right is me now. Please *PLEASE* don't give me that 'I actually think you're prettier now' crap. I'm not. Full stop. The only thing that hurts me more than knowing how shocking and abrasive people find the way I look is when they lie to me about it. That's wool that can't be pulled over my eyes. And I'm okay with that. I'm not pretty. So what? I can take a ship-buster missile to the chest and walk away. Who needs 'pretty' when you can survive in a vacuum without food for months? There is so much more to a person than how they look. I don't need to be validated that way. I mean, it's nice when someone *doesn't* cringe when they meet me for the first time, but I am actually getting used to that. It barely even hurts anymore. I didn't need 'pretty' to be loved and wanted. I don't need it to be respected or successful. So don't tell me I'm prettier now. Tell me I am more interesting now, more useful, or even stronger. That's actually helpful. 

My lack of smile in the second picture isn't for contrast. It just occurred to me that I am *always* smiling in pictures, even when it's not genuine. And when I was talking it over with Jed, he said that people should see that it's not all smiles and joy. I have bad days. Sometimes it just hurts, or I feel guilty, or I am tired for whatever reason. My lack of smile is just as honest. And If people can accept me with the scars, then they can accept that I don't smile all the time. I try to see the best in things, but that doesn't make it not suck sometimes. No one is happy all the time. In that way, I am *not* exceptional."

-Valerie V.

Character, Story, and art © NuisanceBearEull
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1500x977px 1.13 MB
© 2015 - 2024 NuBearEull
Comments5
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I really really honestly think she looks as attractive in both cases, but that's just me i guess, i think scars are attractive because they show that you are human, you can get hurt and you have the strength to go over it, and for me that's beautiful
That's one of the things i like about this character, she has lived though a life crisis i would wish to No-one, and here she is, talking about all of that, almost breaking down in tears, of course, but i don't think anyone would react in a different way